


The Impossible Depths of a Downpour of Lightning and Thunder

by spnj2mfreak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Lucifer, Alpha Michael, Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beta Anna Milton, Beta Gabriel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, First Time, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Pining Dean Winchester, Possessive Dean Winchester, Rimming, Scenting, Slow Build, Top Dean Winchester, Topping from the Bottom, True Mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 01:45:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17840054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnj2mfreak/pseuds/spnj2mfreak
Summary: After having lost his family in a fire, Castiel discovers a home he never thought possible in the arms of Alpha Dean Winchester.





	1. Chapter 1 - Hidden in a Cloud of Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fan fiction so let me know what you think! I will be updating characters and tags as the story continues.  
> This is inspired by a collage of different fanfictions, but my main inspirations are:  
> \- Captured by RedheadedSuperhero
> 
> P.S.: All chapter names are lines taken from my favorite books. In the notes, I will mention what book it is from.  
> P.S.S.: The title comes from Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universide by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. The first chapter’s title comes from The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title comes from The Shock of The Fall By Nathan’s Filer

“I do not belong in this mad present of killing - “

“He’s getting far too old to be parading around without an alpha, and we both know this, Chuck-”

Castiel sighed, the bombardment of his parents voices making their way through the thin walls of the shack that their family calls a house. Adjusting his position ever so slightly, leaning into the wood wall of the attic that doubled as his room, he begins again.

“I do not belong in this mad present of killing and I fear I will not fit into any future, though I - “

“No, I don’t think you’re understanding! He’s 19 years old, and his hormones are not situated without an alpha! He can’t smell, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like them, he will never know if they are his alpha or not. He’s getting too old and soon enough, no one will want him.” Naomi, Castiel’s mother, argued, presumably to his father, Chuck.

Castiel groaned, as his hand swiftly shut the book. There was no point in reading if he couldn’t even concentrate on the book in front of him. Plus, the voices that lifted from below were only growing in volume. With such a small house, it was hard to not hear every conversation that occurred inside of it.

The attic creaked as Castiel sat up, moving across his makeshift room to the small, but loved library of books that he had collected. Putting his copy of Gone With the Wind back in place, Cas paused for a moment, before pulling his hand back, not having yet let go of the book. He needed some time to read, to let his mind wander into fictional realities. He was sure that his parents wouldn’t notice him gone. Alfie was most likely in his room and waiting for the moment he could sneak off to be with Castiel, but surely he wouldn’t mind if Castiel left and cleared his head, would he? Alfie would know where he went anyway, worst case scenario.

It used to be easier to sneak out when the house was full of life, full of his brothers and sister, but being the second youngest, Castiel had to watch as first Michael, then Lucifer, then Gabriel, and finally, Anna, left leaving Castiel with just himself and Alfie. Grabbing a bag filled with a few of his favorite books and a flashlight, Castiel moved to the window, swiftly opening the window and stepping out onto the ledge of the house. Muffled voices were still able to be heard, and were wafting out from inside the house.  
The lights in the lower window signaled Alfie was in his room, and Castiel watched for a moment as he saw Alfie coloring with colored pencils. The colored pencils were the only present Alfie had ever gotten.

Castiel had bought him them last Christmas after saving up for the entire year. He knew his mother would never have agreed with something that would increase his ideas of creativity and definitely wouldn’t have agreed with Castiel having money in the first place. According to Naomi, only the alpha should carry money.  
He often wondered what Alfie would present as. He dearly hoped Alfie wouldn’t become an omega, it was a curse. The looks, the stares, the huffs of indignation. He was the only omega in almost his entire family lineage. Michael and Lucifer had both been alphas and both Anna and Gabriel presented as beta. They had all the freedom. They could explore the world, they could live a life like the ones he read in books. Not only that, but they weren’t forced into an arranged mating. They could find the one person who smelled like home to them. Castiel would never be able to do any of that. Not only was an omega, but he had also lost his sense of smell at a young age. After a rather harsh lesson in how to become the proper omega, the young Castiel had thrown a fit, stating that he wanted to be like his siblings, that he should be able to go out there and have fun.

That had resulted in a brutal beating by Naomi, not the first, but definitely the worst, where she accidentally hit his newly presented nose. Since then, he had never been able to smell. Not that that particularly mattered to him. Castiel didn’t care to find an alpha. The ones whom of which he had experience with were domineering, never letting another person get another word in edgewise. Michael and Lucifer often fought when they lived with him, and although he would try to end it, it usually ended in a backhanded slap from one of them, without interrupting their own conversation.  
Tearing his eyes from the scene in the window and his mind away from the memories of his mother and siblings, Castiel moved to the tree that stood outside his room, climbing down it quickly, and looking back to the house once, before trudging through his backyard to the woods that lay behind it.

Though the idea of shifting into his wolf form was desirable, he knew that Naomi would have his head if she found out that an omega, especially one that was her child, had shifted.

“It’s improper, Castiel,” Castiel imagined his mother saying, “an omega should not shift without permission from their alpha, and very rarely do omega’s gain the permission to shift, and most definitely not with other people present. Only one’s alpha should see an omega in such a state.”

He shook his head to clear his thoughts once again, remembering that the point of leaving the house was to leave thoughts of home there as well. With a huff, Castiel reached down to the bag to grab his flashlight and began moving into the dark woods, searching out his haven.

After a short walk down the path, a turn at the tree with a nail in it’s trunk, Castiel arrived to his safe haven.

‘More home than my actual home,’ Castiel thought, as he pulled back the makeshift door that was a blanket. The inside had several overlapping wood planks on the wall, with a large blanket and dirtied pillow laying on the ground. It was sparse, and empty, but it was the perfect escape for Castiel. Cas’ mind rushed back to the warm summer day when he was building it with Gabriel and Alfie. It had been soon after the incident that resulted in his loss of smell, and Gabriel had wanted to build him and Alfie safe place to go to when it was bad at home.

“Listen, Cassie, I won’t always be here. When I’m 18, I’m outta here, I’m gone, but once I find us a place, I will take you and Alfie, and we can leave behind this place once and for all.” Gabriel had said that day, standing much taller than Castiel, seeming almost gigantic at 14 compared to Castiel at 9, even with his sucker hanging from his mouth. Castiel remembered looking at Gabriel and thinking how his big brother had looked like an angel. Alfie had sat off to the side being only 2, and playing with the small blanket they had brought for the door. Although he could no longer smell the comforting smell of fresh baked bread wafting from Gabriel, his words brought him comfort. Sadly, Gabriel had left six years ago, and Cas hadn’t heard anything from him since.

Castiel didn’t blame him. He knew that Gabriel wanted to explore the world just as much as any of his siblings, and having an omega to take care of was not something he wanted to have. Cas still loved Gabriel, and completely understood why he didn’t come back. Personally, Castiel would never leave, but if he did, he would come back for Alfie, no matter how he presented.

Laying back down and resting on the pillow, Castiel lost himself in the words of a book.

\---------------

Castiel woke with a start, the howl of a wolf shaking him out of his slumber. The moon was high in the sky, meaning that Castiel had been gone for some time. After grumbling to himself and mentally preparing himself for a beating, Cas stood slowly, brushing off his pants. No point in rushing if you’re already late, right? Turning at the nail in the tree, Castiel joined the path, noticing how illuminated the path seemed to be for it being after midnight. As he grew closer to the house, Castiel noticed an orange glow that seemed to be growing. Picking up his pace, Cas began to jog back to the house, almost tripping over a log as he came close enough to see what the orange glow was. His small, quaint home was ablaze, almost silent in the dead of night, the only sound being that of the fire burning.

His heart pounding, Castiel sprinted to the back door, carefully feeling the door knob, before wrenching open the door. The smoke hit him as he stepped in, wrapping itself around his lungs as he heaved in large breaths. Moving past the debris to the living room, Cas saw the empty eyes of his mother wide open and unmoving. Castiel put his shirt over his mouth, eyes still on his mother’s corpse. His mind wouldn’t give him the time to consider the death of his mother, running on adrenaline with only one thought in his head.

‘Alfie, Alfie, Alfie.’

Castiel began running until he reached his destination, stopping in front of Alfie’s room for a moment, before kicking as hard as he could to open the door. The door split with a crack, and Cas’ heart stopped. Alfie was leaned against the wall, his hands clenched around a colored pencil, his face covered in soot. His clothes were burned through with holes, and his hair stood up in all directions. Not wasting any more time, Castiel scooped Alfie into his arms, moving back to the door, stopping as wood crashed down in front of it, blocking his entrance. The flames in the room seemed to be growing and Castiel was a little boy again, his mother was the flames, and she was going to beat him, he was a bad omega and - no, he couldn’t be thinking of that right now. He needed to be brave. For Alfie.

Turning his back to the door, Castiel looked around, settling his eyes on the window, setting Alfie down on the soot filled ground. Castiel grabbed the lamp on the bed stand, taking off his shirt and wrapping it around his hand, before punching the window, shattering the glass. Moving to grab Alfie, Cas carefully, but quickly, climbed through the window, running far to the woods. Chancing a look back, Castiel shed a tear, before tearing off into the forest, down the path, a turn at the tree, and to his safe haven. The adrenaline had faded and the glass in his foot was making it hard to walk, along with his bloodied hand, but Alfie was more important.

Setting him down softly, Castiel removed Alfie’s clothes, before rushing to the nearby stream and dipping his shirt into the water. His ankle was starting to burn, and looking down, Castiel noticed that he had cut himself deeply on something in the house. Closing his eyes and taking a large, shaky breath, Castiel quickly tore the shirt, tying half of it around his ankle, already bloody from his hand, and the taking the other half to Alfie. Castiel leaned down to check his pulse, finding a weak, and barely there, but it was there pulse. Castiel moved the wet cloth slowly, and with utmost care, across Alfie’s body, cleaning off what blood and dirt he could. After Alfie was all clean, Castiel wrapped the door blanket around Alfie’s body, adjusting the pillow for when Alfie awoke. Castiel did the only thing he could do then. He sat and waited.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Sky So Huge and Dark it Could Crush Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title comes from Everything I Never Told You By Celeste Ng

The morning sun arose, and with it, the sight of Castiel in the corner. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself. He wasn’t asleep, he wasn’t able to. He had checked several times over, and knew that it was factual. After all, a series of tests proved a result, right? And that result had shown him that Alfie, his little brother, his kid brother who only wanted the best for everyone, was dead. The blanket was still firmly around his small, frail body. The wind constantly fought to take it from the dead man, but Castiel would only wrap it tighter around his lithe body. Castiel logistically knew that he had to get up. He couldn't stay here. But somehow, he couldn’t get his feet to work.

This was his safe place, for the majority of his life, but now it was his only place. Where was he to go? He had rarely left the house before it had burned down. He remembered the trips to the grocery store with his father, before he had presented. He remembered the kind cashier, the other patrons of the store looking at Castiel, and sometimes, pinching his red cheeks. But that had been years ago. He knew nothing about the world now, only what he had read in books and what Naomi had taught him. At this point, his best option would be to find an alpha, and hope for the best. Castiel grimaced at the idea, the thought of hands running down his body, a knot being shoved into him over and over. 

But then again, he didn’t really have another choice. He would no doubt be made into a breeding machine, like Naomi had told him was his only use as an omega, and he couldn’t picture living a life like that. He had always imagined finding someone who didn’t see omegas as just breeders, someone he could fall in love with, someone to have kids with a nice secluded house by a lake. Someone with the perfect scent.

He used to read romance novels of a strong, handsome alpha knight who was going to begin guarding the princess or prince and would meet them and realize that they were true mates. He was always too embarrassed to read the no doubt detailed sex scene after the meeting. He knew he would never have that. His parents weren’t true mates, they had an arranged marriage. One that was filled with yelling and screaming, and, often, a beating from Naomi onto Castiel’s father, Chuck. Naomi was an alpha from the freelands, the area of the country where people without a pack, while Chuck was a beta from the Winchester Pack. Not only had he seen only a loveless marriage, but how was he to scent his true mate without the ability to smell? 

All dreams, none of which would come true now. He would ultimately just become someone to warm his alpha’s bed. A breeder, a housewife. Nothing. If that were to happen, he couldn’t survive it, but he would try. For his lost family. 

Sighing, Castiel turned, his body protesting after not having moved in a while, making eerie creaks that sounded like his attic. Castiel gulped. His room, his home. His mother, eyes empty, eyes always empty, but not like that, never like that. 

Cas shut his eyes tightly, willing the images away. It wasn’t that he was sad she was dead, because, truly, he wasn’t. Naomi had only used Castiel as a pawn in a way to gain money, since her family had only contacted her after the arranged mating to congratulate her and then never made contact again. But no one can go their entire lives with someone, lose them, and feel nothing. Or, in the case of his little brother, lose someone who was so very close to you. Taking a deep breath, Castiel opened his eyes, focusing on Alfie. He didn’t look dead. He looked peaceful. But he knew that looks were deceiving.

Standing slowly, Castiel moved to the door of his haven, knowing what he had to do.

———————-

 

The hole wasn’t as big as he knew graves were supposed to be. Wasn’t it something like 6 feet deep? He couldn’t remember. Castiel had only had access to his hands, and dug with his bloodied hand and his once good hand until the brown dirt had mixed with the red and throbbed. He probably had infected it, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. The tree with a nail would serve as the best resting place for Alfie. 

Alfie only deserved the best after all. What better than the safe haven that Gabriel, Castiel, and Alfie had built together. It was definitely one of the group of siblings best memories. After running back to the haven and returning with Alfie in his arms, Castiel slowly lowered the limp body into the hole, taking his time to make sure Alfie was in a position that would be comfortable. 

He wasn’t sure what awaited Alfie in the afterlife, but he wanted to make sure he could make him as peaceful as he could here. Alfie’s hand moved outside of the blanket as Castiel lowered him, and Castiel could now see what the blanket had covered. Alfie’s body had glued his hand shut around a colored pencil. A slow tear made its way down Castiel’s face, accompanied by a choked out sob. Using his bloodied and burning hands, Castiel buried his little brother in the shallow ditch beneath the tree. Once finished, Castiel used a wooden plank from the wall of the safe haven and using the nail in the tree, wrote a final goodbye to Alfie in the way of a tombstone. 

The sun was high in the sky at this time, and he knew that if he didn’t leave soon, he would be stuck travelling in the dark. He didn’t know where he was going, however, so he wasn’t sure if it truly made a difference. Grabbing his bag of books, and taking them all out, Castiel replaced the items with the small, dirtied pillow, and his ruined shirt. He had used the half of the shirt he used to clean Alfie to clean himself as well, and after getting all the dirt and grime he could, the cloth was ruined.

Hitching the bag onto his back, Castiel glanced back, once more, to the grave of his little brother, before turning to the path, and walking.

———————-

The moon had overtaken the sky, and had been like that for a while. Castiel’s arms were burning, his feet aching with exertion, not to mention his wounds were opened once again, and bleeding profusely. But Castiel refused to let up. He had nowhere to go, he couldn’t stop to break. He wouldn’t sleep anyway, so what good would it do him? A crunch to the left made Castiel pause, and after a moment of deliberation, Castiel moved his feet in the direction of the crunch, coming to a large well. The trees that surrounded it were sparse, and looking past them, Castiel could see a beaten trail that waved to the well. 

Taking off his bag, Castiel used the well quickly, cranking the water to the top before using the pail to drink as much water as he could in his dehydrated state. Another crack to the right had Castiel dropping the pail back in, turning to the source, but once again, finding nothing. Castiel, although having had been in the woods often for his safe haven, did not know much about the woods, and his mind was filled with ideas of wolves, of bears, and dangerous creatures, and oh god what about Alfie? Would Alfie’s body be okay? He hadn’t counted the steps and didn’t know the way back, how could he go check on him? 

Another crunch now to his left had Castiel taken out of his thoughts. From the darkness came a large wolf, pushing through the trees, accompanied by two others. Castiel was sure he was hallucinating because there was no way there were wolves this big. All of his books had never shown anything this big. None of his family had ever shifted in front of him and he himself only shifted a few times as a child before Naomi knocked it into his head that he shouldn’t without Alpha permission.The wolves slowly approached Castiel, as though he was the one that would be frightened away, like a small bunny. 

A rough growl reached his ears, and Castiel recognized it as having came from the wolf to the right. Slowly, but deliberately, Castiel lowered himself to the ground, knees scraping the rough dirt, but it had nothing on the pain that burned in his feet, in his side, in his hands. Lowering his head to look to the ground, Castiel waited. There was no point in running. He was dead already. Even if he had made it to civilization, the idea of having an alpha, of being a mindless machine, was a terrible fate that he did not want to be subjected to. Death was the better option here. This way he could see Alfie. Castiel could imagine Alfie looking at him with his wide eyes, and rushing to hug him, to squeeze him.

After a minute of nothing but breath from the wolves, one wolf patted over to him. The large paws sat in front of his face, before a nose nudged his hand up, and he found himself looking into sharp, blue eyes. The wolf moved his head to the side, jolting in a way that told him to stand. Moving behind Castiel, the wolf nudged him, making Castiel walk the path. Castiel was aware they were probably taking him to their cave to share with the pack, but then why not kill him then?

———————-

After several minutes of walking, a clearing appeared, many houses taking up Castiel’s view. His eyes widened, as he turned behind him to look at the wolves, who continued to walk closer to the civilization, pausing when Castiel paused. Was he on pack land? He knew that where his house was was considered free land, for those who wished to live without a pack. He didn’t know the first thing about living in a pack. 

Another nudge of the wolves nose against his lower back had Castiel pulled from his thoughts and walking in the direction of the houses. The sun was rising now, and several people were sparsely moving around what looked like almost a neighborhood. The houses seemed to stretch on to a point that Castiel couldn’t see. Pushing Castiel in the direction of the biggest house, Castiel stopped, reaching 10 feet before the door, when a growl came from behind him, Castiel whipped around to see the wolves had parted, and a man walked in between them. 

The man had a spiked hair style, with gorgeous eyes that seemed to match the forest around him. His lips were deliciously pink, and he seemed to be wearing a shocked expression on his face. But past that expression, he had a demeanor that was all too familiar. It screamed Alpha. Castiel quickly moved to his knees, bowing his eyes down in a submissive gesture. The alpha made a choked out sound, before he started moving towards Castiel. When the alpha was close enough that Castiel could see his shoes in front of his face, a hand leaned down in front of him. Castiel hesitantly looked up, the man’s shocked expression turning soft. Castiel reached for his hand slowly, and was hoisted to stand. The alpha took a step closer to Castiel, being so close that Castiel automatically flinched. The alpha looked at him in a hurt expression. 

“Benny!” The man shouted. The main wolf transformed into a man in seconds.  
“Yes, brother?” 

“Bring this guest to a room, and make sure he gets cleaned up.” The green eyed man said, looking him up and down before adding, with an almost pained look, “and make sure to get him to the doctor ASAP!” The other man, Benny, stared back at the alpha, before nodding his head and moving to grab Castiel’s arm, stopping when a loud rough growl assaulted his ears. The camp seemed very quiet as the other members of the pack turned to the alpha, stopping their movements. 

“Dean…” Benny spoke, his arms going up in a placating manner.

“Do not touch him,” The alpha, assumedly Dean, growled out, his hands tightening into fists, body moving to a fighting position.

“Look, hands are up, I ain’t gonna touch him, brother,” Benny stated, before looking to Castiel with a tilt to the side, similar to the wolf, telling him to walk in that direction. Castiel took another look at the growling alpha, his body stock still and heart racing. 

“Dean, you’re scaring the poor boy to death.” Benny said, his voice soft, as if soothing a wild beast.

Dean blinked his eyes once, twice, before moving his eyes to Castiel. When making contact with Castiel’s face, Dean stopped, a faint blush making it’s way over his face, his body moving to a normal position. 

“Ok everyone, shows over, get back to it.” Dean yelled, turning his back to everyone and jogging into the house. The crowd whispered as he left, but did as told, and walked away. 

“Well, looks like the pack life is going to get interesting.” Benny murmured, walking away with a hand motion for Castiel to follow. Castiel tilted his head, questioning, but Benny just looked at him and laughed.

“Time to get you patched up.”

\--------

The doctor’s office was meticulously clean, not a patch of dirt anywhere. Although that could be because of the lack of people. The office was empty, a few chairs were lining the walls, a beautiful flower vase decorating end tables. Benny moved over and plopped into one of the chairs, hand reaching to the end table to snag one of the magazines, ultimately tuning out Castiel. Could he make a run for it? Would that be a good idea? He wasn’t in the best of shape after all, he was still limping and his hand had become a pain. Maybe he should allow the treatment before leaving. Mind made up, Castiel moved to the chairs, just about to sit as well, when a tall, blond man appeared from a door, adorned in a typical doctor outfit. 

“Oh bloody hell, what now?” the man, Beta, said in a strong british accent, throwing his arms up in exasperation, “Can’t you see I’m busy?” 

Benny snorted, not taking his eyes off the magazine. “Yeah, I can tell by the empty chairs.”

“Well, I’ll have you know, I’ve been treating patients all week non stop and this is my only break, can this wait?”

“Hate to break it to you, Balth, but this is direct order from Dean.” Benny said, eyes moving from the magazine to wink at Balth.  
Balth’s eyebrows moved up his forehead, turning to look at Castiel for the first time since he’d been here. 

“And who might you be?” Balth said, eyes glimmering in a mischievous light, before turning back to Benny. Benny’s eyes moved from the magazine, dropping it in his lap, his cheeks heating to a pink.

“I kinda forgot to ask,”

“Well, isn’t that lovely!” Balth laughed, “How polite you are to our guest! Well come along darling, we will get you checked out.”

———————-

After a myriad of questions, an x-ray, and some stitches, Castiel was told he just needed some rest and to lay off of walking for a while. 

“I recommend you to use some crutches for a while, keep your weight off of that leg. God knows why you’ve been walking on it!” Balth said, moving to reach into his closet.

Castiel nodded, “Crutches sound Balth.” Castiel replied, pausing when he heard a crash from Balth, the doctor now having fallen with a short laugh.

“What did I say?” Castiel asked, curious if he had done something wrong. 

“Oh darling, nothing at all,” Balth stated, wiping his eyes, “My full name is Balthazar, I forgot to introduce myself earlier. I’m just not used to people calling me 

Castiel titled his head, “But Benny called you it?” Castiel asked, confused.

“Yes, but Benny is a dear friend of mine, and one of the only ones that call me that.”

“Oh, I apologize.” Castiel spoke, head moving down, ready for a strike to come. Balthazar frowned, opening his mouth to say something, before closing it again. 

“It’s okay, Cassie, no harm done! You are more than welcome to call me Balth.” Balthazar said, a soft smile on his face as he reached down to grab Castiel on the shoulder.  
Castiel gave a small smile up to the man.

“Here’s your crutches, make sure to not move around too much right now. Now, let’s get you back to Benny!”

 

\----------------

 

“Benny! We’re done,” Balthazar called, before strolling into the lounge to see Benny very much asleep. 

“Sleeping beauty, wake up!” Balth yelled, causing Benny to wake with a jolt. 

“Done already?” Benny said, wiping his eyes and standing to look at Castiel. Castiel tuned it out, looking at a magazine on the side table. Balthazar caught Benny up on what was expected while Castiel looked. Once finished, both men turned to the omega. 

“Ready to go, cher?” Benny said, “I think you could use a shower.”


	3. Chapter 3 - We Don’t Choose What Memories We Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from Shock of the Fall By Nathan Filer

The bathroom was fully stocked, any and all different soaps and shampoos were arranged neatly on a shelf. The cabinets were stocked full of suppressants and pills, anything a person could need. Castiel just looked at the cabinet for a long time, before grabbing a generic shampoo and stepping into the already full bathtub. 

He was thankful to find a plastic bag ready for him and grabbed a stool nearby so that he would have somewhere for his foot to rest while he bathed. Balthazar recommended he not wash submerged in water for a few weeks. Thankfully, he would be able to get rid of the crutches at the same time. Submerging into the bath was a bit difficult on his aching muscles, but once inside, the water did wonders. It was hard to scrape the dirt that had seeped into his pores, but he managed to get off, though not without difficulty. 

“You alright in there, Cas-tiel?” Benny drawled through the door.

“I’m fine,” Cas replied, his voice croaking at the end. A few days of not speaking were starting to take their toll. After scrubbing his body of mud, dirt, and blood, Castiel stepped out of the bath, looking at himself in the mirror by the sink. He was always skinny, but he was slightly skinnier than usual. His pale skin had seemed even paler with the burn marks on his side.

Castiel twisted, looking at the long, pale scars that littered his back, before sighing, and grabbing a towel and his crutches. Stepping out, he noticed how Benny pointedly looked away from his chest, shoving a few articles of clothing his way, before mumbling an excuse and leaving the room.

Castiel didn’t find himself vain, but he knew he was at least average looking, so he wondered why Benny had felt so uncomfortable? Perhaps he was skittish and the burn scars were gross to him. Shrugging on the new, clean outfit, Castiel walked out, seeing Benny standing there waiting.

“Well, cher, time to meet the boss!” 

\---------------

The large room seemed cozy, even comfortable, which was odd to Castiel. Weren’t packs supposed to be filled with non civilized people? That’s what Naomi had always said. His eyebrows furrowed in thought as he hobbled in, noticing that only a few people were inside. The talking between the few had been loud, enough to take him out of his thoughts.

“Dean, you got company!” Benny yelled, before walking out the door, slamming it behind him. The conversation stopped automatically at the sound, and suddenly eyes were on him. In the middle, on a large chair, was Dean, while next to him was a rather large man, with hair that seemed shaggy. His eyes, despite his intimidating height, were kind. He had to be an alpha, but somehow, he seemed very kind, very hesitant. He found himself trying to keep his eyes on the kind man, rather than the alpha that sat beside him. 

Dean had scared him during their first meeting, and he was afraid what the alpha had planned for him. That mission failed soon, as a low growl began to rumble from Dean’s chest. Castiel broke eye contact with the large man, looking to see Dean staring openly at him, not having yet realized he was growling.

As soon as Dean seemed aware, the grumbling cut off abruptly. The large man looked at Dean with a sly smirk, and Castiel was amazed that the man was not even remotely worried about offending or provoking the alpha. A few woman sat to the sides, one with her eyes slightly narrowed at him and another wearing an open expression of happiness.

“Come in, no need to be shy.” Dean said, his voice soft, despite the rumble of his voice, no doubt left over from the growl. With hesitant steps, Castiel moved to the middle of the room, moving his head down and eyes glued to the floor.

“I’m sorry, Alpha,” Castiel spoke, eyes still on the ground. There was silence for a moment, before a throat was cleared.

“Listen, hey, you can call me Dean. There’s no need to apologize. What’s your name?” 

“Castiel,” Castiel spoke, moving his head up to meet the eyes of Dean. 

Dean smiled at that, whispering it to himself. The large man next to him loudly cleared his throat and side nudged him, sly smirk somehow having grown larger. Dean shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts.

“Well then Cas, welcome to the Winchester pack! Now, I’m not sure where you come from, but you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like. We have plenty of room. You’ll love the pack!” Dean said, before being nudged by the large man once again, “Oh! And this next to me is my second in command, Sam, my little brother. Over here,” he said pointing to the woman with a warm expression, “is Eileen, Sam’s mate, and on the other side of her,” pointing to the aggressive woman now, “is Jo.” Jo seemed pleased to have been formally mentioned, fluttering her eyelashes with a large smile. 

“I’m sure you’ll meet most of the pack later. Come, I’ll show you to your room.” Dean stated, jumping up from his seat and moving towards Castiel. This time, Castiel did not flinch at the closeness, but at the first touch of Dean’s rough, calloused hands on his arm, he broke his resolve and flinched once more. Dean moved his hands quickly, putting them up in a placating manner. 

Although Dean looked hurt, he seemed to be trying to put Castiel at ease. For some reason, perhaps the fact that the alpha was showing that he had no plans to hurt him, Castiel relaxed. This time, as Dean reached to him, very slowly, Castiel did not move. Dean seemed almost overjoyed as he gripped Castiel’s hand. Pausing before lifting it to his lips, and pressing a soft kiss against it. Castiel opened his eyes wide, watching Dean kept eye contact with him.

A low growl emanated from the other side of the room, coming from Jo. Castiel automatically tried to back up, assuming that this woman was Dean’s mate. However, that thought was derailed as, without letting Castiel move than a step back, Dean looked to Jo and growled much louder, silencing the other woman. Huffing a sigh of annoyance, Dean let go of Castiel’s hand, but stayed near him, moving him out of the room and into a brightly lit hallway.

“So I’m sure you’re tired today, so I’m having lunch and dinner brought up to you. It’s been a long and taxing day on most of us.” Dean blushed, using his hand to scratch at the back of his neck.

Castiel ignored him in favor of looking around the area. The hallway they were in had plenty of doors, most with nameplates on them. It seemed to be decorated for comfort rather than for look. But somehow, it worked. It felt very homey in the house. Stopping at a door, Dean turned the knob and motioned Castiel to come in. The room was exquisite, covered in a bright yellow with a bed that looked very comfortable.

There was a dresser and a desk off to the sides, with a computer and many pens and pencils on it, as if prepared for a guest before hand. ‘Perhaps this is someone’s room I’m staying in’ Castiel considered. As much as Castiel wished to explore the place, map out where he would run as well as abate his curiosity, his legs were beginning to ache, even with the crutches, and his body was slowly starting to shut down from the injuries.

“Here’s your room! You’ve got a bathroom connected here if you need it,” Dean stated, pointing to the door on the other side of the wall, “and my room is just a few doors down. If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let someone know, or try my room. I might be in there.” With a few awkward steps of his feet, Dean threw up a wave, and walked out of the room, leaving Castiel alone with his thoughts. Setting himself on the bed, Castiel found himself thinking of Dean. For an Alpha, Dean sure was awkward. Sure of himself, yes, but he seemed uncomfortable in Castiel’s presence. Though his mother had told him that he was someone who often made people uncomfortable.

Mother. Someone he would never see again. Mother, father. Alfie. The screaming, the crying, all for Castiel, and none of which he heard. He should have been there sooner. Castiel burrowed himself into the covers, head between pillows. Alfie was too young. He had his whole life ahead of him and it was Castiel’s fault he was dead. His mother’s words echoed in his head. Stupid, worthless, good for nothing, only a breeder, only would be a breeder. Tears began streaming down Castiel’s face, and soon enough, fatigue worked its magic on him and he lost himself in nightmares of a little boy who wasn’t there anymore.

\---------------

When Castiel woke up, it was to screaming, his lungs burning, smoke almost seemingly having been shoved down his throat. He broke out in a coughing fit, the door opening to show Eileen holding a plate full of food that made his stomach growl. How long had it been since he ate? Eileen slowly set the plate down on the desk, with sure steps to him, putting her hand on his forehead as the coughing started to dim. 

“What happened?” Dean yelled, bursting through the door, startling both the woman and Castiel. “Eileen?”

Eileen brought her hands up and began making gestures that of which Dean could interpret. Dean nodded, before, breathing a long breath and putting his hand against Castiel’s head. A frown marred his beautiful features and Castiel found that he wanted to sooth the lines, the wrinkles that came from the sadness. But the fear of reprisal had him staying stock still.

“You okay, Cas?” Dean asked, voice almost a whisper. Eileen averted her eyes, as though it would be improper for her to see this. Castiel was not understanding the mechanics of this pack at all, the concern coming from an alpha, someone who he had always learned had a short temper, and was always an angry person. 

Dean seemed to be the most level headed Alpha he had ever met, not that he had met many. Perhaps he had guessed wrong. Perhaps Dean was a beta, a very dominant beta, but a beta nonetheless. 

“I’m fine,” Castiel spoke, hands folding on his lap to keep himself from touching Dean. It was odd, this feeling, this want to touch this man. He never had wanted to touch someone like he did Dean.

After looking Cas over for any problems, Dean breathed a sigh of relief, absently scratching his arm. 

“Okay, well if you need anything you know where to find me.” Dean said, moving to get up. Giving into the impulse and the want to not be alone, Castiel grabbed onto Dean’s arm, the warmth of the Alpha flooding through his hand had him almost pull away from the shock of it all, but he held firm.

Dean blinked, very similar to Alfie, and a short pang of loneliness went through him so strong, that he found himself wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. His body was even warmer near his chest, and he felt the alpha freeze. Castiel quickly backed up, about to make an apology when Dean’s arms wrapped around him. 

“Hey, shh,” Dean hushed, rocking him in a comfortable manner, “It’s okay.”  
The slow rocking and deep rumble of Dean’s voice had Castiel going back to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4 - Taut With Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title comes from Shatter Me By: Taherah Mafi

Waking up was a difficult process. He had seemed to gain consciousness many times throughout his sleeping, but the darkness of the room had lulled him back to sleep over and over again. The next time when he had awoken, the shades on the window were thrown open, exposing a beautiful countryside bereft of people, but full of horses. Castiel watched amazed as the horses ran across the beautiful scenery, and found himself gripping his crutches and raising to the window for a better view.

“Do you ride?” A voice said from behind him, causing Castiel to jump. A loud laughter had him turning around and found Dean laughing behind him. Castiel was unsure of what to do in this situation, and felt oddly embarrassed of having been snuck up on. Once Dean’s laughter had subsided, he seemed to notice Castiel’s embarrassment and, to save him from further embarrassment, Dean changed the subject.

“So I figure, since you’ve slept all of yesterday, you might want to move around a little bit, and maybe meet the pack?” Dean asked, seeming to think that Castiel was going to outright refuse. His leg was hurting from sleeping oddly, but he wanted to meet the pack.

“I’d love to,” Castiel answered, adding a small smile at the end. It was the least he could do. Dean was very kind to have sticked around yesterday.

“Great!” Dean beamed, “Well, let’s go! It’s almost lunch anyway, and I figure you’re hungry,”

Castiel blushed thinking of how Benny had seen his body yesterday. The skin and bones that he was. Maybe he told Dean and Dean wanted to fatten him up. ‘Maybe he wants me healthy, so I can be better for breeding,” The thought almost made Castiel sigh. He had to be expecting the reality, not that the pack would want him for anything other than breeding. He wondered if he would be exclusively Dean’s, or shared? The thought of being Dean’s had him hot and bothered, and he found himself wishing the window was open to cool the room down.

Moving to stand beside Castiel, Dean lifted his arms, ready in case Castiel fell. The first step, even with crutches hurt, and Castiel found himself biting his lip to contain his groan. The second step had Castiel outwardly crying out. Dean was in front of him in a heartbeat, hands feeling around his body for any problems.

“Cas, are you ok? What do you need?” Dean asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

“Uh, I don’t think I can walk far, my leg is not feeling the best,” Castiel confessed.

“Well that’s no problem! I’d be happy to get you some aspirin and,” Dean blushed, a gorgeous shade on his face, “I could carry you.” Castiel blinked owlishly. 

“Um, sure.” Castiel answered, astounded at the fact that the alpha was okay with it. 

Dean grinned wolfishly, reaching behind Castiel’s legs to grip him in a bridal carry. The warmth of Dean’s chest was a comforting temperature, and Castiel found himself leaning into Dean. Closing his eyes, with the comfort of how slow and careful Dean moved down the stairs as well as the warmth, Castiel almost found himself falling back asleep, the comfort of Dean’s body against his own lulling him into an almost slumber. But soon enough, Cas was being lowered down into a comfortable chair. His eyes sprang open, meeting concerned, amused, and darting eyes. The room he was in was a dining room, that could be found by the chairs around him and the table laying in front of him. But what he wasn’t expecting in the dining room was the amount of other patrons that were staring at him. Castiel looked down quickly, cheeks turning bright red at being carried down here like a pup or a damsel in distress. 

“So Cas,” Dean started, taking a seat to the right of Cas, “A lot of the pack likes to eat within the comfort of their own home, but here’s some of the pack. I figure I can start with who you already know.” Dean said, before pointing to the end of the table, where Sam and Eileen sat next to one another, hands linked together on top of the table.

“Obviously, that is Sam and Eileen whom you’ve already met. Next to them is Benny,” Dean paused, as Benny exaggeratedly winked at Castiel, making Cas slightly blush, something that wasn’t hidden from Dean’s sight. Dean made an annoyed face at Benny, before continuing. “And then there’s Garth, Pamela, and Jo, who you’ve already met.” All three of the people looked to Castiel, soft smiles on Garth and Pamela’s part, but Jo met his eye with a small scowl. 

“I’m sure you’ll meet more people later, but for now, eat up!” Dean spoke, a large grin overtaking his face, before grabbing Castiel’s plate and loading it full of everything that he saw. Castiel’s eyes widened at the amount of food being put before him. Looking at his overwhelmed face, Dean just softly smiled, setting down the plate. Getting in close to Cas, Dean moved his head down to whisper to him.“Don’t worry about not finishing everything, just eat as much as you can.” 

Castiel gave a small smile that he hoped to look like an agreement, and took a small bite of the scone in front of him. Dean looked pleased, before moving to get food for himself, as everyone else had already dug in. While nibbling on his food, Castiel found time to look over everyone. It seemed to him that it was odd that everyone was eating before the Alpha. Naomi had always told him that Alpha’s always eat before everyone else. Pamela and Garth seemed locked in conversation, Dean seeming content to just eat without chatter. Jo kept trying to engage in conversation with him, but Dean kept brushing her off, reaching his hand down to grab Castiel’s under the table. Jo seemed to have noticed the movement, a low growl coming from her as Castiel sat stock still. The hand in his was warm, calloused, and comforting, but the thought that came with it was anything but. Is this Dean claiming his ownership of the omega? Does this mean that he will have to be bred soon? Does this mean Dean will bred him, not anyone else? But what of Jo? Does Dean have multiple omegas? 

He was brought out of his thoughts as Dean squeezed his hand, bringing Castiel out of his reverie. 

“You ok, Cas?” Dean asked, with a concerned look on his face pinching his eyebrows.

“I’m fine,” Castiel said, unsure if asking his questions would result in punishment. Dean looked unconvinced, and slowly stood from the table, motioning for Castiel to stand as well. Was he about to be punished? Had he done something wrong? Castiel slightly shook as he stood up, and Dean’s face turned to be one of even more concern.

“Sorry, guys,” Dean said as he turned his attention to the table, “Castiel is still tired, but we’ll come meet you all later.” Turning back to Castiel, Dean moved to grab Castiel, making Cas slightly flinch before leaning into the bridal carry. The trip to Cas’ room was short but a myriad of questions invaded Castiel’s thoughts. Was he to be punished? What did he even do? Once reaching the door to his room, Dean pushed the door, setting Castiel lightly on the bed. 

“I’ll be back a bit later, I figure maybe you need a bit more time to get used to your surroundings,” Dean said, moving his hand to rub at the nape of his neck, before turning around and shutting the door. Castiel was once again left wondering what happened.


	5. Chapter 5 - Belonging To The Rain

It was hours later that Castiel awoke, but this time, it was different.The moon shone brightly outside, casting a small light into the room. Castiel blinked the sleep out of his eyes, looking around, stopping at the view of a figure on the floor, in the corner by the window. It was too dark to tell what it was in the corner. Castiel squinted at the blob, trying to make out the shape.

‘I thought you said you would protect me,’ The voice rang out, the childly tone freezing Castiel’s veins. The figure slowly stepped into the light, the glow cascading over the face that showed itself. Alfie was dressed in his favorite set of pajamas, the superman ones that had tatters in it. It was something his parents loathed, but his uncle had gotten it for the boy, and Castiel made it his mission that his parents wouldn’t take it. In his hand was a drawing, too hard to see from the dark, but the common appearance of Alfie in this state had Cas choking out a sob. 

‘I made you a drawing!’ Alfie singsonged, skipping up to the edge of Castiel’s bed. In terrified fear, Castiel scooted back, though the Alfie figure didn’t seem to mind as he dropped the drawing on his lap. 

The drawing made Castiel hold his breath. It was his home, a childly version of it, surrounded by flames, with Alfie shouting out of his bedroom. And in the very corner, there was Castiel, his back turned to the flames, on his hands and knees, seeming to be pleasuring an alpha. The horror and shock of seeing a childly drawing with such adult content, made Castiel look up to see if Alfie still stood there, but in his place was a colored pencil, lone on the floor.

A demonic, shrill version of Alfie’s voice sang out, ‘You lied, you lied, you lied.’

Castiel woke with a start, looking around the room, almost shaking when he realized that it was still dark, just like in the dream. But nothing made him jump quite like the knock that sounded at the door. Realizing he was just sitting in a shocked state and shaking himself out of it, Castiel cleared his voice, before yelling at a gravely “come in.”

Castiel wasn’t sure who was to visit him this late at night, but nothing could have made him thought it to be Jo.

Jo walked in wearing a long nightgown, a small grimace on her face, arms folded over themselves. Castiel found himself tripping over his own tongue trying to say something, but Jo beat him to the punch.

“Listen, Cas,” Jo started, a small frown marring her usual beautiful face, “I want you to know I have nothing personally against you, but I need you to back off of Dean, ok? I know you’re new here, but Dean and I are going to mate.” 

Castiel tilted his head, going over past interactions with Dean, wondering if it had ever come up. Jo must have taken his silence as an agreement and left the room, leaving the door open. Castiel turned to his bed side and looked at the small alarm clock beside his bed. The clock shone brightly back at him 5:48. Castiel threw his head back onto the bed sighing. Was this the average time for the pack to get up? Back at home Castiel woke up early, yes, but only to wake up Alfie for school and get him ready. If Alfie was away, Castiel would sleep in for as long as he could before being awoken by his mother who berated him for not doing his omega duties. Castiel burrowed his head into the pillow, fighting the urge to scream into it. He had no idea of the rules here, he had no idea of what Dean wanted from him, he had no idea what he was going to do without Alfie. 

“Cas?” A voice rang out from the entryway. Castiel moved his head to the source of the sound and found Dean standing in the doorway, already dressed the day. 

“The door was open, is everything ok?” Dean spoke, his eyebrows frowning towards his face. Castiel burrowed back into the pillow. This wasn’t fair. Alfie was gone, Castiel didn’t know anything about what to do, and Dean should not be allowed to be that attractive. Castiel looked back up, getting into a seated position.

“I’m fine,” Castiel spoke, deep and raspy in his morning voice. Dean blinked, and let out a bright smile before patting his bed. 

“Well, then, breakfast is almost ready! Why don’t you come down?” Dean said, smile still in place. 

“Okay…” Castiel spoke, still a feeling a bit odd over Alfie, and Dean, and Jo. Dean simply smiled again and patted his bed once more.

“Well, I’ll let you get ready and then I’ll meet you downstairs!” Dean stated as he walked out the door, and shut it. Well, Castiel thought, I guess it’s time to meet my new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of this chapter comes from Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. Also!! Sorry for the long wait!! I’ve been super busy.


	6. Chapter 6 - Distance Makes the World Feel Small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title comes from Restore Me by Taherah Mafi

Looking at himself in the mirror, Castiel couldn’t see the kid who used to build tree houses with his brother. He didn’t see the kid who used to do anything to avoid his brother being hurt. Now, all Castiel saw was an omega without an alpha. 

“An omega without an alpha is an abomination,” his mother’s voice chimed in his ears. Huffing a sigh, Castiel turned away from his reflection and started his path downstairs, slowly moving with his crutches. He passed several people heading down, and he fully expected glares and heated whispers, because after all, not only was he an abomination, but it seemed that Jo believed he was pushing himself on Dean. His memory was still fuzzy from just waking up and the chaos of the destruction in his life. Perhaps he was the one who held Dean’s hand under the table, not vice versa? Cas shook his head trying to jog memories in place, and continued walking in the direction of the dining room. 

Walking into the room, he half expected only Dean, as it was only 6 in the morning, but apparently this pack was full of early risers, as the entire dining hall was filled with laughter and talk. Castiel looked down as he walked to an empty table, making sure to move out of the way of any oncoming people. It was a breath of fresh air sitting in a relatively quiet area with an empty table, but the joy was short lived.

“Morning Castiel! Isn’t it so nice outside? I haven’t gotten to talk to you yet, since you seem to love that room more than your own pack, but it’s nice to see you now!” A scrawny man with brown hair stated, before taking a seat across from Castiel. Castiel’s memories continued to fail him in many ways, as he could not connect the name to a face.

“Uh, Castiel? You okay there?” The man stated, reaching his hand out to grab him. Castiel almost ripped it away, until he looked up at the man once more, and determined that no, this kind man could never be an alpha, and allowed the contact. Castiel looked up with a small, most likely pathetic, smile. The man seemed to take it as encouragement, as the second he smiled, the man called over a few others, “Pamela, Bobby, come say hello to Cas!” 

Castiel’s eyes widened as the group of three joined him. Though his memory seemed to be failing, he could vaguely remember Balthazar, but couldn’t place from where. 

“So, Cas, I think you’ve already been introduced to a us, but I know you’ve probably been meeting lots of people,” The man leaned in close, and whispered, “Dean likes to show his mate off,” The man said, with a bright smile before backing off. Castiel tilted his head, a bit confused. He hadn’t seen Jo and Dean together. Perhaps he has been in his room too long, Cas surmised. “So I figure,” he continued, “that I could maybe refresh you in case you forgot. I am Garth, pleased to meet ya, this lady right here next to me,” Garth pointed at the attractive tail female next to him, “this is Pamela! Say hello Pamela!”

Pamela must have taken that as an invitation, because in the next second, Pamela was cuddled up right next to Castiel, her alpha posturing letting Cas know automatically of Pamela’s designation. Castiel froze as she started moving her hand to his arm, squeezing the muscle there for a moment before grabbing the hand in a lackluster handshake on Castiel’s part. But this did not deter the woman, as she simply continued to smile at him. 

“This is Bobby,” Garth continued, as the older male moved towards Castiel, simply offering a grunt and a hand. 

“So you’re the one who has Dean all over the place, huh?” Bobby said. Castiel, again, was mystified by this. Was it a problem that he stay on the pack? He just needed to until he had fixed himself up, then he would be out of the way, Castiel promised himself. Castiel’s cheeks went red as he wondered if this was a group designed to breed him. After all, it seemed like all of them, with the exception of Garth, were alphas. Castiel could tell his shaking was prominent, but it seemed like the others didn’t seem to notice as they all leapt into their own conversation. 

He wondered if they would take him dry. Would it hurt? He assumed it would. The rough drag of dry on dry. Castiel cringed at the thought. 

“Cas! You made it down!” Dean called from across the room, as he walked toward the table, rousing Cas from his thoughts. Castiel looked up at the tall man, managing a small grin that he figured looked more like a grimace than anything else. It didn’t seem to deter Dean, however, as Dean just smiled back and sat right next to Castiel, putting his arm around the back of Castiel’s chair, joining the conversation with ease. 

“So Castiel, what do you do for fun?” Garth pipped up, making everyone end their conversations to focus on Castiel. Castiel squirmed under the scrutiny, looking down at the table.

“I like to read,” Castiel whispered out, cheeks burning red at the attention. Dean seemed to love the answer as he simply grabbed the bottom of Castiel’s chin and tilted his face upward. 

“We have a library, if you would like to see it,” Dean spoke back, very softly, a kind smile on his face. Castiel just blushed brighter.

“I’d like that,” Up this close, Cas could see that Dean had magnificently colored eyes, green with hints of honey in them that sparkled in the light. He could see that Dean seemed to have freckles that dotted just below them, and a cupid's bow mouth, with plush that made Castiel want to lean in and just brush his against them and -

A loud cough brought Castiel back into reality. 

Looking up, Castiel saw Pamela, Garth, and Bobby looking at him with something akin to wonderment. If he thought they looked curious before… Castiel glanced over to Dean, but Dean seemed happy to continue to keep looking at him, as if he didn’t notice the cough.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Pamela said, nudging Bobby in the side, with a wink. Bobby managed a gruff hum of agreement, before the three continued questioning Castiel for as long as possible. Questions ranged greatly in variety, and Castiel had a hard time stuttering out answers, as he had never been asked about himself before. It was a daunting experience. At one point, Castiel started to shake, at which point Dean simply took his hand, and stroked his thumb over Cas’. The feel of Dean’s hand in his own made Castiel calm and continue answering, but Dean never let go, through all the questions. 

“Castiel?” A voice called, making Castiel stop his conversation to turn to the newcomer. Cas quickly recognized Balthazar, and gave a slight wave. 

“There you are darling! We have to check you out, come along!” Balthazar sang, coming close to Cas with a hand reached out. Just as Castiel was about to take it, a low growl from beside him stopped him. Castiel turned to see Dean glaring at Balthazar’s hand. The action made Balthazar put his hands up.

“Easy, alpha, just checking to make sure Castiel here is ok.” 

That made Dean quiet, and Cas could see Dean shake his head to clear his head. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course, go ahead, Cas” Dean said, giving Castiel’s hand a quick kiss on the back before leaving the table. The action made Castiel blush brightly and cast his eyes down. 

“Aw, looks like he’s not used to affection!” Pamela cooed, “You’ll have to get used to it, Dean is very handsy.” Pamela winked, confusing Cas even more. This whole pack was hard to understand, Cas thought.

“Yes, that’s very nice and all, but let us go and get this appointment done, shall we, Castiel?” Balthazar said, before hooking his arm around Cas’ and taking off out the door with Cas.


	7. Chapter 7 - In the Sere Drabness of Their Mortal Existence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title comes from The Walls of Jericho by Paul I. Wellman

Is it time, Castiel thought, as Balthazar pulled him towards the same clinic that he went to before. It was hard to keep up with the pace Balthazar set on crutches, but soon Balthazar seemed to notice the rate at which he walked was difficult for Cas.

“Sorry, Cassie, doesn’t make me seem like such a good doctor when I’m rushing you, huh?” Balthazar apologized, as he slowed his pace. Cas gave a simple smile back, the two walking in a silence that would have been comfortable if not for Castiel’s mind racing with the possibilities of what was to happen. It was too early to be taken off the crutches, and it was far too early to be deemed ok, so what could Balthazar possibly want from Castiel? Was this the time for him to step into the role of being an omega? Castiel’s thoughts were interrupted as they entered the same pristine examination room as before. 

“I’ll be back in a moment, feel free to get ready!” Balthazar spoke, before grabbing a paper from his desk and leaving Castiel alone. Cas blinked at what Balthazar wanted him to do. ‘Get ready?’ What did that mean? Castiel shuddered as the implications of what he meant began filling into his brain. Automatically, Castiel’s brain flitted to a memory of Naomi. 

He was just a pup, his eyes gleaming and happy as he started his first day of lessons. He was so excited, he had finally had his first heat the other day and now, he was to learn about what his alpha would want from him! Naomi stood in front of him with a frown, but that didn’t deter from Castiel’s happiness. It was finally happening, schooling! Naomi gave a simple head movement pointing to the desk by him. Castiel ran over, happy to start, sitting down. But after taking a seat, Naomi simply shook her head once more, and made him stand in front of the desk, facing opposite of her. Poor Castiel was truly confused, but it was at the next moment that Castiel’s head was pushed forcefully against the desk. Though she kept a distance, the words that Naomi spoke next verberated within him. 

“Castiel, as you know, you are now an omega. I am so disappointed in you, my son. I had hoped for a strong alpha boy, and just as always, you have disappointed me. So now you are to learn about being nothing but a breeding bitch. Today’s lesson will be taught over and over again, as it is one of the most important. Listen to me closely, Castiel. All you are is a hole for a knot. A servant. A slave, a sex slave. Your alpha will want you in this position the majority of the time, and when they say to, you are to present in this fashion.” Shoving his head further into the table, Naomi continued. “You will take any and all knots he will give you, no matter how much or who. Do you understand?” Castiel stood silent for a moment, the hard feeling of wood on his cheek being soothed by the tears that fell down his cheeks.

“I said,” Naomi yelled, grabbing Castiel’s hair and yanking his face upward, “do you understand?”

“Yes,” Castiel cried, already feeling some of the looser hairs coming out. 

“Yes, m’am!” Naomi yelled, bringing Castiel’s face back down onto the table and up again. The taste of the blood permeated his mouth.

“Yes, m’am,” Castiel whispered, before his hair was let go, and the sound of heels left the room, a door slamming behind them.

The doctor’s office came back into view as he shook himself out of the memories. So that was what he was supposed to do, he assumed. Taking off his pants and his undergarments, Castiel turned toward the patient’s table and bent over, his hole open for looking. The cold air hit his bottom, and he began shivering, both in fear and in cold. 

Castiel wasn’t sure how long he waited before the door clicked open. 

“Alright, Castiel, now let us look at -” Balthazar’s voice rung out, before the sound of a clipboard dropped. 

“Jesus, Cassie, what the hell are you doing?!” Balthazar yelled, “put your pants back on!” 

Castiel looked back behind him to see Balthazar with his opens covered shut by his hands. Castiel simply turned his head, and did as he said, pulling the pants up, before sitting back down.

“Are you decent?”

“Yes,” Castiel was confused. Was it not time? Naomi had said if he were ever in position where he was told to get ready, that was what he was to do. 

Balthazar slowly lowered his hands, peeking to see Castiel sitting on the bed unperturbed. A loud sigh echoed in the room. 

“You must be trying to kill me!” Balthazar sighed, “Dean is going to murder me!”

Castiel tilted his head. Was perhaps this not the alpha he was supposed to begin with? Perhaps Dean would be mad about that? The pondering didn’t last long, as Balthazar sat in his wheely chair and moved closer to Cas. 

“Listen, Castiel,” Balthazar began, a small frown on his face, “I don’t know where you come from, but here, you don’t have to do anything like that, ok? I know some places are like that, hell, I experienced it, but don’t worry about it here. The doctor’s appointment is free, ok?” 

Once again, Castiel was confused, did Balthazar think that he was trying to pay for this? No, he was just trying to follow orders!

Slowly, he nodded, which seemed to be an agreement to do the examination to Balthazar. The rest of the appointment was of Balth checking his leg, and making sure he was taking the right medications. 

It seemed Balthazar was happy with the progress, and sent him on his way after, giving Castiel time to ponder the question, when was he to do his duties as an omega?


	8. Chapter 8 - A Book With My Name On It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This title comes from Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, long time. Sorry! I just kind of lost touch with this story and I also didn't have a laptop until now... But I'm trying to get back into it! No idea when my next update may be though.

The entire walk home, the very slow walk, mind you, as the crutches did not work well on the grass and soot of the town, Castiel wondered once again about his purpose. 

Castiel was so lost in thought, he did not even notice Dean walking up beside him to accompany him until Dean reached a hand out to steady him. Cas shrieked at the touch, to which Dean put his hands up. 

“Hey, no worries, just thought I could walk you back! But if you don’t want me here, I could go…” Dean stuttered, a small smile on his face, wrinkles of worry matting between his brows. Cas shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to Dean. 

“Sorry, alpha, I’ve just been deep in thought.” He admitted as Dean fell into step next to him. Dean hummed in agreement. 

Castiel stopped for a moment, mouth opening and closing, so much so that Dean, while wanting to be patient, decided to put him out of his misery.

“What’s up, Cas?” 

“Well… I’ve just been wondering… I’ve been staying here for a few days and I haven’t been touched, I haven’t been given duties, or chores… what is my purpose here?” Castiel sputtered out, hands twisting with one another out of anxiety. Castiel fully expected a slap at that moment, as asking an alpha a question head on was considered terrible and Naomi would berate him if she were her. Or alive, Castiel thoughts added. Surprisingly, Dean simply smiled at Cas, guiding his hand to the small of his back to guide Cas back to walking.

“Cas, you have a broken leg. You are still healing, and you can take all the time you need. You don’t have to earn a keep here. Sure, when you are healed, you will get a position, but for the time being, I want you to worry only about getting better, ok?” 

Castiel slowly nodded at that. That made sense. Not the part about earning the keep, that he would find a way to do. No, it made sense that they wanted him to heal. He would just slow everyone down right now, and the usual punishments for being slow would just worsen his recovery. 

Dean smiled at his nod, and brought Cas inside.

“So…” Dean started, rubbing the back of his neck, a slight blush coloring his features, “I was wondering if you would like to see the library now? If you want to wait, that’s fine too!” Dean rushed to get out.

For the first time since Alfie, Castiel smiled a big, real smile. Yes! He’d never seen a real library. On his few outings with Chuck, he had always passed by, but he was always pulled away. The idea of actually seeing a myriad of books that contained different genres, different stories, was like a dream come true.

“I would love to!” Castiel yelled, before realizing he just yelled at an alpha, and moving his head downward, and with a quieter demeanor, but still a smile on his face, said softly, “I mean, I would love to, Alpha.” 

After a moment of silence, Cas looked back up, to see Dean watching him with a bewildered, but small smile teasing his lips. Shaking his head, Dean coughed, “Yeah, of course. Just follow me.”

The entire walk down was hard. The idea of sprinting came to his mind but, A. he did not know where he was going, and B. Omegas did not run. But when Castiel saw the door that ultimately meant the library, those thoughts went out his head as he ran forward, and with a whoosh of flair, threw open the double doors.

“Wow!” Castiel whispered. Books covered every wall, from floor to ceiling, and they were all housed in bookshelves with gorgeous dark wood. The sides of the room both had staircases that lead to a second level with even more books, all illuminated by the large chandelier in the middle. 

“This is better than I could have imagined,” Cas admitted out loud, causing Dean to chuckle. The sound shocked Castiel, as he remembered Dean in the last second. A small blush appeared on his face, but he was much too curious to be embarrassed. Castiel walked to the first bookcase, and moved his fingers along the spines of the books, reading each and every spine. Castiel was so entranced he almost missed Dean shouting a goodbye and saying that he would see him later. Cas was now in his heaven. Grabbing a cracked book out of the shelf, Cas found a seat in the corner, and cuddled up. Now this, Cas thought, I could get used to.


End file.
